OPINION: ZENCOS ARE GROSS

Anonymous
OPINION: ZENCOS ARE GROSS

If you like vapes and multifunctional tools that make vaping easier, then I’m sure you’ve used, or at least have heard about, Zencos.

That being said, I think Zencos suck and are gross. So, why do I think this way? And what exactly is a Zenco? Well, allow me to break it down for you.

Zenco is a sophisticated tabletop cannabis vaporizer with features like automatic filling, instant heat-up, dishwasher-safe glass, 510 thread compatibility, concentrate compatibility, and a haptic vibration power button. Zencos offer a unique smoking experience with debatably smooth and very flavorful vapors. It allows smokers to “sip” the vape out of a “glass”, something many consider a fun experience, which also sets Zencos apart from other vaporizers.

Zenco Duo (cart + concentrates) : r/trees

There are a couple or few different models and makes of Zenco vapes, with the Zenco-Duo probably being the most popular. The Zenco-Duo is allegedly easy-to-use, with three temperature settings, a magnetic tray for 510 cartridges (or provided coils), and charges with a USB-C. Although a lot of these features may sound nice or read impressive on paper, for me, it’s all just too much for something that’s supposed to be relaxed and simple.


For instance, in order to turn the Zenco on, it requires 5 taps of the power button. Why isn’t it just one press of the button? How about two? Personally, I have zero clue, but just turning the damn thing on is going far beyond the simplicity of drawing back on my standard vape pen or flicking my Bic. A moment ago I had mentioned three temperature settings. I don’t know about any of you, but I’m not a scientist or a chef, and there should be one standard temperature vetted by Zenco’s creators that promotes the best experience. To be frank, I don’t understand why anyone would even want multiple temperature options either, it convolutes the entire process of smoking weed. Also, the hotter you set the temperature of a vape, the faster the coils wear out, so this feature seems more like a hustle to me.

Zenco Duo Vaporizer - Drink vapor from a glass! – Herbalize Store CA

While on the topic of pressing the same button for multiple different functions, Zencos also possess an autofill filter, which you can access by tapping the power button twice — I think. I personally prefer to manually fill my hoots so I know exactly how much I’m taking in and how ready I have to get my lungs for what they’re about to experience, but I’ll concede a point to the Zenco here because it is a really cool feature. The most challenging part of using a Zenco however, is lifting the glass itself in order to “sip” your smoke.

The more you use it, the easier it gets, but it’s an awkward and unnatural step for trying to chill while smoking, which is what the majority of us stoners are trying to do. Imagine you’re sitting in a rotation at your buddy’s house and everyone’s passing around a smoking wine glass. That’s literally what this is. I mean just think about it for a minute: it’s a cup full of vapor. Not only is the vapor basically all just distillate – because that’s what vape carts typically use – but you lose most of the smoke out of the top of the glass anyways. You certainly can’t take it all in one blast and so what am I expected to do? Put a coaster on top? It’s not like Tim Horton’s, I can’t just ask for a straw a lid.

The Zenco | Vape by the Glass | Desktop Vaporizer | Zenco Life

On top of everything I’ve already mentioned, the Zenco Duo is also really loud. Like, we’re talking PlayStation 2 loud. Zenco’s are by no means discrete devices, and they aren’t ideal for multiple-user/sharing situations either. They’re weird and impractical and did I mention they’re pricey? I’m not saying bongs are cheap or disposable by any means, but I couldn’t imagine spending $300+ on a Zenco just to have one of my stoner friends accidentally knock it over, which is something that will inevitably happen.


Overall, if you like to drink distillate vapors in a noisy room, then Zenco’s are for you. But if you’re like myself and most midnight tokers, save your cash and grab another stash

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